Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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