Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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