I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You can't just leave with hair like that
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
