Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Please, let me fuck your mom
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
