I heard we made out
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
smell my finger.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
