yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
