you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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