She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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