Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
