White coat. Heels.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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