I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
