can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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