have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
