I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
