Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
