What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
