i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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