I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
