Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
