How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
