Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
