yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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