im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
