The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize