Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
