Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
