it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
