i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
