i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
