He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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