going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
