Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
