We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
