Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i will never coherently bang her
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
