she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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