Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
How external is "for external use only"?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
