Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
