Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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