Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
