actually, I'm a sock model
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dear god my vagina.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
