State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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