I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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