And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
