Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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