I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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