Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
