loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Randomize