I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize