i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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