I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
