is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize