Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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