How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i wish my penis had a tongue
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize