So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
