Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
