It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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