why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
