I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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