Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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