Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he was CRYING into my vagina
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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