I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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