I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
